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vegan wrapped in bacon > surprise #1: filet de bling >
surprise #2: bleary morning
And lo, Baconiel, the Bacon Angel of the Lord, came upon them in the fields by night and brought them great tidings of joy.... And one shepherd said to another as they prepared to depart for Bethlehem, "Well, crap, there's one more meat we can't eat now! Why does God have to screw with our diet so much?"
The Stupidest Angel by Christopher Moore
Rrrrgh . . . . Burns . . . .
6"/15cm H, your mileage may vary.
Bacon is cooked at a low temperature to minimize shrinkage and help keep the crafter from burning the piece in progress. Our artistic vision for this is that it is ephemeral and entirely edible, but if you want your angel to last longer you might need to employ some hot glue during assembly and some kind of meat sealant.
Arrange oven racks so that the Erlenmeyer flask can comfortably stand up. Preheat oven to 350ºF (175ºC). Line the baking sheet with Teflon-coated foil or spray with non-stick cooking spray. (If using cooking spray, try to leave an area as big as the footprint of the Erlenmeyer flask unsprayed to help avoid sliding accidents later.)
Prepare Erlenmeyer flask by wrapping the cone and neck in aluminium foil. If your flask has a lip at the top of the neck, you may need to use foil to build up the width of the neck to match the width of the lip. This will prevent the bacon from shrinking down too small to be removed from the flask.
Loosely crumple a piece of aluminium foil into a ball 1.5"-2" (4-5cm) in diameter. Cover it with another sheet of aluminium foil so that it is reasonably smooth. Wrap with low-fat bacon to form a sphere (leave at least one hole so you can later remove the foil). Secure with several wooden toothpicks sticking straight in (think Pinhead). Place head onto baking sheet with flask.
Cut two pieces of wire each 12" (30cm) long. Use round-nose pliers to place an anchor loop at one end of each length of wire. Lay the Irish bacon down on a flat surface as if they were a pair of wings and arrange them (tilt, etc.) to your liking. Thread the wire through the arch of wing on each piece of bacon. The anchor loop will be at the outsides and the long ends will be at the inside. Place Irish bacon wings onto baking sheet with head and flask.
Put all body parts into the oven and cook until bacon slices are crispy, about 25 minutes. Continue cooking wings to desired crispiness.
Let body parts cool.
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