In traditional fashion, the Angstylvanian government has failed to meet international deadlines for its athletes to officially compete in the 2008 Ravelympics. Athletes are encouraged to register with an official Ravelympics team if they want to compete for whatever it is that the Ravelympics is offering. However, Angstylvanian athletes can still indicate to their government that they are participating (on another team or not) by joining the Team Angstylvania Ravelry group, and their government promises to reward a random finishing athlete with whatever they can scrape up by the time the Ravelympics ends.
In Angstylvania, winners are looked upon with suspicion. Winners are people who put in the extra effort. Winners have a plan.
So, finally over here at Angstylvania HQ we mustered up the strength to pull a name out of the hat. Who will get the box of Wool Ease doom? (Which, if you'll notice, is more of a punishment than a prize.) Drum roll please.....
Sunday brought Suz and her modified Branching Out, branched into something much larger.
And finally, dear Mandy hacked her way across the winner's circle in her cigar gloves.
We are all very proud. Oh wait. Not proud. Sleepy.
The drawing to announce the winner of copious amounts of Wool-Ease will be held whenever I can bother to do it. To be fair, that will probably be very soon.
Thanks to everyone for making our team, um, not suck quite as hard as it would have. One fourth of you should be very proud. The other three fourths of you should hide your faces in shame. Please do not mention that neither of your intepid coaches finished either.
It is the grand tradition of Angstylvania to participate as little as possible in any activity that may cause us to break a sweat. However, it is also the grand tradition of Angstylvania to be elitist twats and wish to show our superiority over all others. To this end, Team Angstylvania will be competing in the Knitting Olympics.
There is no benefit to being a member of our team. There will be no glory for finishing, because no one really cares if you finish. You will not be exalted in Angstylvania, because the citizens are tired and it will probably be time for a nap, well, any time.
However, if you do manage to finish, you will be entered into a drawing to win two free stickers and as much WoolEase as we can force upon you.
If you wish to be an official participant of the world knitting Olympics and be eligible for the official drawing via the Yarn Harlot, you must register here.
If you wish to be available for the much less prestigious but far more snobbish drawing, you must register with us.
To register with us we give you two options that are incredibly convenient to us. You may either email Renee at firstname.lastname@example.org, or you may comment on the blog expressing your desire to compete.
Include any of the following that doesn't cause your bitter heart too much joy:
Knitting Olympics Project
Fifty words or less (preferably in poetry form) on how your love for your homeland of Angstylvania brings you so much sorrow and yet so much pride.
At this point, please select a button or a tshirt design so people can know you are an Angstylvanian and cross the street when they see you coming.
To be considered for the drawing, at the end of the Olympics you must send a photograph (preferably a very moody one) to Renee at email@example.com to be considered. At this point, you may also include another poem about the evils and hypocrisy of Angstylvanian competition given our policy of noncommitment to any cause. This poem will not increase your chance of winning, but it will cause us to laugh at you and maybe post your poem to the blog.
The drawing will be held whenever Renee can get around to it and the winner will be notified when she damn well feels like it.
Remember the team motto: We would have to care to finish.