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Apheta

Where's Angstylvania, you ask?

Let the travel experts at Lonely Planet answer that for us:

Angstylvania was founded in 1042 by sisters Agatka and Elizaveta Bezvkusnova. The girls were out searching for religious freedom, but luckily became bored with the idea and decided the best course of action was to take a nap. Being lazy girls, this was a very long nap, and by the time they woke up an entire city had grown up around them. This city, Morosovia, was the capital of the Angstylvanians, who made Agatka and Elizaveta their co-regents. For the first few days, the sisters toiled tirelessly, commissioning roads, sewers, and libraries to be built. But, as usual, they lost interest. Agatka turned inward, searching her soul for a purpose in life, which seemed to necessitate reams and reams of paper for documenting said search. Elizaveta decided to die from ennui, and locked herself in a tower, never to be heard from again.

The Angstilvanians weren't happy with their way of life, but they were satisfied with the rut the country was in. It was, if nothing else, predictable, and since their standard of living had improved slightly after the first flurry of activity from their monarchs, it would be too much trouble to have them replaced. Apathy now! was their rallying cry, or it would have been if they bothered to have one.

Travelers to Angstylvania should know the country has a primarily agricultural economy, relying on the cultivation of earwax, watercress, and sheep. It has been said that Angstylanians are avid knitters due to the high availability of wool, but this claim cannot be fully substantiated as no finished objects have ever been found, and unfinished woolen goods are so caked with earwax that it's difficult to say if they are knitted or not. The exact population of Angstylvania is not known either, since the government claims census-taking to be too exhausting, but there is a small, steady stream of immigrants as the occasional individual will wander in and not take the time to find his or her way back out. Most accounts place Angstylvania in Eastern Europe, though a strong faction believes it to be somewhere near Ohio.

National Pastimes

Angstylvanians have been known to attempt participation in the following activities:

  • Kiva Lending
  • 2012 Ravelympics Ravellenic Games
  • 2010 Ravelympics
  • 2008 Ravelympics
  • 2006 Knit Olympics

Display Angstylvanian Pride!

"We'd have to care to finish."
- Svetlana Vyalostova, Team Angstylvania coach

Grab a button for your site:

  • Team Angstlvania in red on grey
  • Team Angstlvania in black on grey
  • Team Angstlvania in scripty red on grey

Or make your own Angstylvanian t-shirt:

(Avery Dark T-Shirt Transfers is our recommenced iron-on transfer paper for black tshirts.)

Are you an Angstylvanian athlete who has won a medal?

Good for you, but seriously, also, wtf? Way to abandon Angstylvanian national values! You can grab a medal below. Yes, we will just let any old person grab one. Kind of makes it less special, yeah? Yeah. But look! We finally made a medal for 2008 and 2012!

  • Angstylvaniaan Medalist 2006
  • Ravelympics Medalist 2008, Team Angstylvania, Wool, Apathy, Earwax
  • Ravelympics Medalist 2010, Team Angstylvania, Wool, Apathy, Earwax
  • Ravelympics Medalist 2012, Team Angstylvania, Wool, Apathy, Earwax
       
 

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